**English editions of my books**
- File Size: 3958 KB
- Print Length: 230 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1541262964
- Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
- Publisher: JMS Books LLC (June 18, 2017)
During a golf tournament in Virginia, American golfer Reggie Weston meets Russell Lee, the British former world champion in the sport. The two men hit it off when Russell takes Reggie under his wing, teaching him the tricks of the game.
As their friendship deepens, Reggie finds himself falling in love with the Englishman, though he knows Russell doesn’t feel the same. He’s painfully aware of the fact that Russell isn’t gay.
But there’s more to Russell than meets the eye. He’s a troubled soul, plagued by monsters in his head telling him who he should be. He’s spent most of his life hiding his sexuality from the world so he won’t disappoint his homophobic mother.
Reggie continued looking out the window, to the bar and the swimming pool, because looking at Russell, drunk and laying in his bed, was unbearable.
Unbearable and wonderful.
He would’ve liked to join Russell in the bed, undressing first, then helping Russell do the same. He would’ve liked to gently touch Russell’s naked body, tickling his chest, his back, his thighs, caressing each with his breath. He would …
“The monsters, Reggie!”
He turned at the whisper.
“Do you ever hear them, the monsters?”
Reggie frowned and approached the bed with long and slow steps.
“The monsters?” he echoed.
“Right, monsters in my head. I always hear them. They tell me things … What I should do, who I should be …” he whispered, his voice broken in tears.
Reggie sat next to him, his soul heavy. Russell Lee, the former number one ranked golfer in the world, was tormented by something, a monster that was slowly devouring him, whose shadow he could easily see.
He’d like to tell Russell that he was there, and he would be forever; he’d like to hug the man, giving all of himself to provide some comfort. He wanted to do a thousand things and more, but he didn’t know how to react, what was proper or not, and he hated himself for that.
So Reggie stretched a hand in Russell’s direction, laying it delicately on his side. The Englishman did the same, holding Reggie’s and silently inviting him to lay next to him.
His heart beat wildly in his chest. Before he knew it, they were lying next to each other, hands on their sides and knees brushing. This overwhelming feeling became intoxicating.
This close Reggie studied Russell’s face, as if to imprint every detail into his mind. The squared jaw, the important nose, the long eyelashes, the well-designed lips … He was dying, wanting to trace that profile with his lips, too.
At that moment, Reggie was also struggling a demon of his own. The demon of impossible desire, of making him want that mouth and body.
“I’ll tell you something,” Russell suddenly whispered, eyes still closed.
Reggie stared at him adoringly, hanging on Russell’s every word. He didn’t want to lose anything Russell was going to say or to do, not even the slight movement of his chest going up and down as he breathed.
“Never get drunk because you’re lovesick.”
Oh, that’s all it was: Danielle didn’t love him anymore. What an idiot. Russell wasn’t talking about him at all. How had he not realized that sooner? With a sigh, his passion in his eyes fizzled out as if extinguished by a bucket of icy water.
In that moment, with their breaths filling the room and their heart beating so close that they almost became one, he hadn’t any doubt: he loved Russell. Four days had been enough to understand that.
But he didn’t doubt something else, too — that his love would always be unrequited. The impossibility of that love was as obvious as the moon reigning high in the sky. Still, it hurt bitterly.
He grabbed at Russell, holding the Englishman close as the warmth of Russell’s body filled him. It almost seemed like a tease: happiness was just a step away, but he wasn’t allowed to catch it.
Only then did Reggie realize that the former champion had surrendered to sleep, a peaceful expression finally on his face. Maybe the monster in his head had stopped screaming.
Reggie knew he had to get up and let Russell rest. If Danielle came back to find her partner in bed hugged by another man, it wouldn’t help their relationship for sure.
But his body didn’t want to listen. Reggie’s heart and soul wanted to stay there, next to the man he loved.